How to make dating work in investment banking

How to find love when you work in finance | eFinancialCareers

how to make dating work in investment banking

A Wall Streeter explains why she won't date "scrubs. up quite a controversy by rating the suitability of men in finance for extremely busy women in investment banking. Make a big, career-defining decision on data you know is bad. I know there are a bunch of folks on here whose work lives are similar. The hothouse airlessness of most investment banking culture, with its (She didn't report it for two years, which appears to have worked. The ones who have left banking told me the article induced Being a significant other in the world of investment banking is a thankless job.

The job was first.

how to make dating work in investment banking

He is the sweetest man in the world. And I can see that this is what he wants to do, that this job is where his heart is. I tease him about his weight gain. You're chained to your desk all day, I tell him.

When he goes out running for lunch he'll call me. He'll ask, what should I order? And we have this three way conversation with the guy taking the lunch order. Sometimes he gets to leave the office by 8pm. He calls and I feel I have to cut my program short because maybe we can spend an evening together, perhaps even go to a restaurant.

I am dating a junior banker and it is fine

When this happens I feel really stupid, leaving my friends and dropping everything for him. The power balance in our relationship has shifted completely. He's under a lot of pressure. His parents have financial difficulties and he is helping them pay their debts. He is very religious and he doesn't drink. This is not making things easier for him at the bank. In fact his parents have said that if he has to drink to get ahead at the bank, then this is okay. Same dilemma with strip clubs. My position makes no sense, I know, but as long as we're not married, I'm okay if he has to go.

But if we're married, then it's not acceptable. So he will text me, asking: What's a good drink to buy a girl my age? We were at a train station, he was so excited that he came running towards me and picked me up. People thought we were very strange, but we were just so excited — he had worked so hard and finally he had an offer.

how to make dating work in investment banking

The other day we were talking about a friend of his who is also in finance, but with much better hours. I pointed that out to him and he went: A little while ago we were having dinner and he got a message that he had made a mistake. This threw him off completely.

Staying current with financial news helps you get a job in investment banking

He couldn't stop fidgeting, wouldn't listen to me. The rest of the evening he'd fret about work. When we plan something, he says 'But I may have to cancel'. When we're out, there is always the chance of him getting called back into the office. He comes with terms and conditions. But he's going to have to change himself, to fit in. Right now he cannot stand being told off by someone. That makes him feel like he died. He takes every rejection incredibly personally, even if it's a job application or something else to do with work.

He'll obsess over what somebody said to him. You know, he tries really hard. But I told him very seriously: I didn't choose to be in this situation. If I had wanted the bankers' lifestyle I would have gone into finance myself.

how to make dating work in investment banking

I work in a shop. I live with my parents.

how to make dating work in investment banking

I have huge student debts, a big overdraft … Now he has a really good salary, he looks smart — suddenly he holds all the cards in the relationship. I don't want him to buy me presents to make up for the fact that he can't spend time with me. But this is how he talks now: I'll buy you something, I'll make it up to you. Speak English, I want to scream.

I met some of his colleagues and I dread meeting the others: Incredibly good looking and intelligent and accomplished. I know what they have done to get there while I can't even bother to go for a run when it's cold out. I am not like them and I am fine with that but they are an intimidating group of people.

Same with his flatmate who is with the same bank, but in a different division.

Investment banker boyfriend, how do I handle the crazy hours?

You will not believe how boring and childish conversations between the two can be. Who works harder, how to get into the right jobs, how hard it is — they can go on all night.

how to make dating work in investment banking

One says, but you're not even a real trader. And then the other has to defend himself. We may be together and then he's emailing India to get their guy there to finish something by 9am.

Total Frat Move | A Day In The Life Of Dating An Investment Banking Analyst

Sometimes he'll call the guy at home, in India, and make him go into the office. That's the pressure again. Some time ago I got a call and he said: But he could stay. I can do that. He'll be telling me that he spends at least half his time formatting documents; measuring the space between lines to make sure everything looks perfect.

Presentation is so important in banking, apparently. He has this colleague who cries all the time. She can't take the pressure.

Investment banker boyfriend, how do I handle the crazy hour

I come from a banking family, so I didn't come into this relationship cold. I pretty quickly found out the difference. I don't see him much during the week. We usually get together on Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings, but that depends when he finishes work.

He's also developed greater confidence to push back on working when there is a special occasion he has to go to. Yes, it can be frustrating. Whenever he cancels, it's work-related. I've had to reorganize a day at the races with my family because he suddenly could't come and I attend most social occasions on my own.

But when he takes me for dinner late on a Saturday night and he's shattered from working all day but still remains upbeat and happy, it more than compensates. That is real dedication to our relationship. He has a saying that helps me understand: Every other relationship from his analyst class has failed except ours. You need to be understanding. You also need to admire and respect the hard work that your partner's doing, otherwise you'll always be resentful. For me, his ambition and work ethic are part of the attraction.

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It takes effort on both sides.